here we go again

It is that time of year again where I try to check and balance my life, where I have been and where I am going. I am not interested in comments just saying, I like to go over and take stock. I am going to trim things down, my new job is fabulous, I love being able to spend more time with my husband but I also am starting to get that itch again. I need to travel, I need to change something, I need to get some spring cleaning of my brain. I miss my old life sometimes I want to try to rectify the past but cannot always, I also am realizing that I need to trim the fat when it comes to the people I spend my time with and on. I get these people in my life that call me when they need something or are bored but then turn around what is said and pass it along to other people who don't know the whole story. I say if you are curious about something and ask a question be prepared for an answer you may not like. I stand by that, don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to and be strong enough to take an answer if you asked the questions. So here it is, if you call and ask how I am then I will tell you, good bad or different, if you don't want to know don't call me.

I also recently said goodbye to a friend that is leaving on a very long trip. I had a serious conversation with him before he left and feel strangely jubilant and empty at the same time. I will keep up on him but wonder where things will go for him. I do not know if I will see him again, this could be the start for a beautiful life change for him.

Ok, well I am going to continue my pondering and will check in later.

Back

So my company finally allows me to post on this site again...not a lot seems to be the same as four months ago. I have had my views of family and health shaken to the core. I also reflect on the current state of my life and realize even with all the tragedy and crisis in my families lives we are still doing very well and a tighter knit group than ever. I hope it continues as it has been going and cannot wait for things to calm down again when they do.

On a side note, my August is starting to be so full I don't know what to do with myself...I literally have had to schedule time to not have anything to do...and those days are slowly slipping away too... this is partly my fault as I am doing side jobs for my cupcake/cake decorating business...so if you folks in the bloggy-verse live in the North bay or East Bay and want some work done please let me know!

Photos of previous work can be found on my myspace page.

Time to play catch up...

My, my, my...it has been a long time since I updated this little thing. So here goes, I am currently still looking for a better job and to go back to school. January was a rather un-eventful month, February my world was rocked when my husband, John, lost his job after ten years with his company...but whatever that company deserves to crash and burn like it is.... so he is looking for a new purchasing position. We went to our friend Clayton's wedding back in Georgia and then our good friend Ollie moved back into our house :) YAY! March was a really tough month for me, my mom and dad both had their birthdays and their anniversary, in the middle of the birthday anniversary joy my Aunt was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor that is affecting pretty much every facet of her life. My grandmother lost her live in care giver and is living by herself again which is scary and John didn't get a single unemployment check...which brings us to April, our friend Danika moved back in with us after a few months at her mom's house...YAY!! I had my birthday and was called by my Uncle who I had not talked to in over a year and shares the same birthday as me...a tearful call from Iraq will make a girl forgive pretty much any transgression including missing her wedding...God I am such a softie....John finally got his paperwork for unemployment checks and sent it in so fingers crossed we should get about two months worth of pay in a week....lets hope! I am hoping to get some acceptance letters for schools here soon and will post more info when I have it. Oh and I finally got myself an ipod....at long last I have 120GB of my own space in the universe :)

Holy Hanna its almost a New Year!

This is the holy heck it is almost a new year and so much has happened this year I kind of just look back in shock and disbelief! There are people who left my life this year in both the figuritive and literal sense of the word, and part of me likes to mourn my losses and celebrate my gains. I lost friends and family this year, but I gained a whole lot more than I lost. When I married I officialy (not that I didn't already consider them) gained and doubled my family. My husband, John, and his family have been in my life and loving me for the better part of a decade now (8 years) but it is nice to be able to officially call them my family and have it all legal and on paper...even though it is something that could never be quantified as just an on paper relationship. I also added friends to my life that are proving to be like family which I am ever so thankful for. As usual I have those friends that I have kept with me for years and just grow together with. This year I was able to see almost all of them, all at once, in one spot...for my wedding. I love you all and cannot thank you all enough for coming from near and far to make the day such a special one.

Next year I hope that I will find what I search for, achieve all the goals I set for myself, and strive to be a better human being to all those on this planet, even the ones I do not understand.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

Thinking about...

Just starting a new blog (on top of this one) with new recipes I have tried that work out well...and some of my old favorites, what do you all think? All 3 of you that follow this thing....

Rain

So far be it from me to ba humbug the rain...I love that it has started raining, I love the cold dreary weather if for no other reason that it forces people inside, close together. This weekend I was stuck going out and driving a lot of different places, but the time I enjoyed most was the time spent at home cozied up with the Hubby on the bed reading and surrounded by the dogs (aka my children) and the puppies were on the floor (3 week old puppies are too hard to keep on the bed) and all we did was snuggle, read for me and play video games for him. It was a nice intimate sharing of space and time while doing our own independant things. Then last night when we got home all the house mates were there and it was declared a PJ party...we all got our flannels and fleeces out and put on our socks or slippers, had chocolate milk and mac and cheese (homemade) to spend some quality time we just hung out and really got to spend time talking to one another. I suggest to any and all to take advantage of this forced closeness and really make the best out of it. Throw on a kettle make some tea or a few cups of coco and then, pull out the board games, you may be shocked at how good this practically free activity feels...and how good your wallet will feel afterwards. Snuggle up my friends with those you care about...getting cozy in my work chair wishing for the rain to continue long enough to make it home for breakfast for dinner night!

Holiday Hopes

Welcome ladies and gents,
This is the second blog for me and I have a few things to address, the first being the sheer gluttony that has become the holiday season. I hate going to stores from Black Friday through the day after Christmas, all I hear is little kids whining for material things they want, parents complaining about how much money everything costs, and the constant and complete aural barrage of non stop Christmas music! I am sorry, I am a Jew, I admit this may play into some of my bias but honestly it is not fair to force someone to listen to the same songs being sung by different people for over 30 days straight! I have yet to ever be out and hear one Hanukkah song or see anything for Kwanzaa....not to mention people say the Christmas spirit is infectious, I want more *JOY* and less *OY* in my holiday. I want to hear kids be appreciative of everything they have and stop whining about what they want to get. I want to hear parents worry less about what little Timmy is going to think about only five presents this year and that they cost less than what was purchased last year, and more about what little Timmy is doing to make this world a better place. Timmy needs to be *TAUGHT* by his parents about love, giving (both of your time and your spirit) and charity. If these things are instilled in him then the spirit of the holiday lives on and the holiday season truly will be rewarding and enjoyable for everyone...but on the flip side of this coin, homeless don't just need food on Thanksgiving and Christmas, families in need don't just need assistance on Christmas, and charities don't just need money around this time of year. This is my call and my challenge to everyone out there:

BE BETTER! I know it is hard and it is not fun or pretty but it is needed, especially now. Be better than your current self, give more of your time to those who need it. That TV show will be on again, that book will still be on the night stand later, the movie will be on DVD soon enough. We are talking about real honest to God human beings that are suffering and depressed that don't know how to move forward through it, kids that just need an adult to take or show some interest, a single mom who just needs a little break so she can get her head above water...whatever you can do, do it...don't throw money at the situation one time a year and think it has removed your obligation or fulfilled it. Volunteer for Christmas Cheer, spend time rebuilding bikes, join big brothers and big sisters, read at the local library, sign up to be a free tutor in a subject you excel in...offer to take and print free family holiday pictures, bake cookies or cupcakes for a family you know that needs a little boost and decorate them with the kids, do something, anything...but for all that you hold sacred and cherish in your life, don't make this time of year about the gifts. I cannot stand and do not want gifts to be the center of this season any more. I have done a little, not enough by any means, to aide the world in the little ways I know how. I have chosen Christmas Cheer as my recipient of time this year. They help on the basic level of giving hope to families in need with food, toiletries, and toys for children, they run solely on a volunteer staff and give what is left to the Goodwill so that there is never anything left over or wasted. I also will be signing up for the SPCA because they too are short handed. My husband is working on building bikes for children and teens so that they have something under the tree to help them to and from school, sports events, and keep them in shape...it is something he is passionate about and has been involved in for YEARS. If you want information on local charities that need volunteers feel free to contact me. I have done research on many, all are worthy and have different levels of time commitments needed. This was not meant to be a downer, and I should conclude this with some back story. My grandmother was rushed to the emergency room on Thursday night and was released late on Saturday. Sunday I went to a store to grab her groceries and a few movies to keep her busy and sitting for the day.....sadly all I heard while at the store was Christmas music and a lot of complaints about how much money everyone was spending or how little they had to spend...that wasn't the worst part, I went to best buy to get her the movies, and all of a sudden I hear Christmas music being drowned out by several greedy tantrums of I want, I want, if you loved me you would get....I was sickened...revolted, and realized that though I am not free of guilt from being a spoiled child at times, my parents were amazing at instilling in me the understanding that just because I get, or they like to give, I also needed to give. We used to get $20 from my mom as a Hanukkah gift, and that was money for us to go spend at a Toy store buying a toy for another child, something that we would like and wanted but would give away to someone else who needed it more, or who wouldn't have anything at all if we didn't give. They sent me to my Grandma and Grandpa's house to be taken to the soup kitchens to help serve on Christmas. My Grandpa who died, always told me on those nights that it was a gift from God to serve another human being and being God's servant is a gift that can never be topped. I have been through my selfish periods of wanting my time for myself. I am not sure I won't go through one again, but I am trying, trying to be the best that I can be and I urge the rest of you to do the same. We all are capable of giving something, something that another person needs. It is called Charity in English, Tzedakah, in Hebrew. There are different levels of Tzedakah, the highest of which is giving with out the receiver knowing who gave...meaning it is a complete donation with the giver never being recognized for it...that is what I hope to achieve this year.

Happy Holidays to All!